Wikipedia

Once upon a time I could be found on Wikipedia. It went a little like this:

Peter Watts was born 11th May 1988 in Sydney, Australia and has featured heavily in the media during the early years of his life. His first appearence came in 1998 when he won the childrens' quiz show 'Mind Power' despite being two years younger than the average contestant and opting to contest blindfolded. It was after this that the television show "A Current Affair" ran a story on him, laregly focussing on his love for penguins and extensive model train track set up. Peter was brought back to the public's attention the following year when his parents, John and Mary Watts, unceremoniusly committed suicide by lying under a steam roller. At the time, Peter was staying with an Aunty (Julia Grendle). Despite the media frenzy, his aunt succesfully managed to shield him from the attention and subsequently took care of him. This ended in April 2000 however when she reported him missing. For two years the police wear engaged in a search for him, helped by "A Current Affair" who called upon it's viewers to offer any assistance they could. For 32 months Peter was presumed dead, until Christmas 2002 when he left a card under his Aunt's tree simply stating "Merry Christmas: Love from Peter" with a small photo of himself included. Again he featured prominently in the media but the police were still unable to find him. Peter's location still remains a mystery to this day, however he has managed to keep himself known, largely through the internet. His posts have been found in forums across the globe and in 2004 he made international news when it was discovered that he was responsible for the "smiley virus". He later left a message on a Seinfeld message board that his actions represented his dissatifaction over the widespread use of emoticons. Since this time Peter has been rumoured to be central in a number of highly profitable internet businesses including the Scandinavian dating service "Love 4 Life" and to have created the program responsible for much of today's mass spam emails. Despite being highly sought after by the police, Peter continues to taunt them by retaining his public profile. His latest project is the music blog Open Your Eyes where he shares his music tastes with the rest of the world.


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