The Serious Performers (80's)

I always thought the 80s was gonna be one of the easier decades to do. However I got to this point and found I’d used everyone I knew. But with a little a digging I unearthed a wealth of 80s music lost in the depths of my mind. I decided this week to celebrate those who you can’t help laughing at, for one reason or another. The 80s had its fair share of these, with film clips being an especially hilarious outlet. The sad thing is that they thought they looked hip. However sadly the worst dressed were the worst sounding, so I could only scratch the surface of ridiculousness in order to ensure quality. But fear not, the silly are well represented here.

Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! – ABBA
How can you respect them when they launched their career from Eurovision? How can you respect them when they named themselves after their initials? How can you respect them when they’re just two music playing men and their singing wives? How can you respect them when they’re horrible dressers (Google Image Search will confirm this)? How david bowiecan you respect them when they’re Swedish? Well because their music is so damn catchy and their lyrics so stupid – the perfect pop combination. After all, who doesn’t want a man after midnight?

Cars – Gary Numan
I don’t think I’ll go into respect for this guy. The film clip for this song will show just how serious he is - emotionless, staring into the camera and…….standing in a giant cube. The scope of this song is pretty huge actually, being one of the most popular songs of the 80s. I’ve actually got his ‘best of’ and my two most recommended would have to be Cars and Cars (remix). Apparently he had more but I don’t believe it.

Billy Jean – Michael Jackson
What can I possibly say about Wacko Jacko that hasn’t been heard before? He went from cool little black kid with a cool afro, to the ugliest white man alive. Meanwhile his music went from high pitched pop music, to slightly less high pitched pop music, to just as high pitched political pop music. Controversy-wise he changed skin colours, outbid Paul McCartney and Yoko Ono for the rights to The Beatles’ songs, spent his money like an idiot, hung his baby over a balcony, was accused of sexual molestation of a child (acquitted of course), need I say more? Looking at or hearing him these days, it’s hard to do anything but make fun of him, however the fact remains that he was one of the greatest singers of the last 25 years and produced some excellent music. Not only this, but we was probably the coolest on stage dancer of all time. He single-handedly made it cool. No amount of stupid behaviour can tarnish this reputation, though he sure has tried.

Let’s Dance – David Bowie
The amount of musicians this guy is helped out is innumerable. He seems to be friends with everyone in the industry. I really don’t how I could describe his music other than that in stark contrast to the artist above he has a really deep voice. I think that must be his attraction, as we all know nobody can resit a deep voice. He too has a great collection of music, though to be honest I’m not the biggest fan. Perhaps it was the copious amounts of makeup he liked to wear. Not that there’s anything wrong with that….

Shout To The Top – The Style Council
This is just one of those songs you have to jump to. There is no choice in it you just do. That marks the end of my knowledge on this song. I know nothing about the band and stupid they were, but singing this song and calling yourselves The Style Council won’t help people take you seriously

This was written March 22, 2006. What? Why?